


Third time's a charm

by canary1212



Series: Three Times [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Character Death, Crying, Cutting, Depression, Hanging, Hospitals, M/M, Suicide Attempt, drug overdose, suicidal iceland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 18:30:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12216477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canary1212/pseuds/canary1212
Summary: Iceland has had enough and decides to end it all. Twice, one of his family members will come to the rescue. However, they arrive just a little too late the last time....





	Third time's a charm

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Hetalia.

Iceland's POV

I sat on my bed, the door closed. Nobody would be home for a few hours at least- I had plenty of time. I already wrote a note, asking them to understand. They caught me cutting a few years back, by now, they thought that I had stopped. I never did though. Not even once. How did they catch me again?

*flashback*

I was sitting in the bathtub crying, the door slightly ajar. I didn't notice though. I was too drawn in. I wanted, no, needed to tear my skin and feel pain. I had gotten into a fight with the others. I don't remember why or how, just that it left me storming off, struggling to hold back my tears. I walked to the bathroom, slamming the door. One cut- for being a horrible person. A second- for being a crybaby. A third- for yelling at them. The list could've gone on and on, if it wasn't for the door suddenly opening, and a hand taking the blade away from me. I looked up, trying to get it back, when sweden pushed me down, so that I sat on the toilet lid. At that point I just... Gave up. I didn't want to even try anymore. Sweden then left, only to come back with Norway in tow. He looked shocked, a flicker of emotion on his normally blank eyes. All I could do was stare at him tiredly as he asked the dreaded question.

"Why?"

"... I don't know." I answered. I really didn't remember. It could've been any number of reasons, but it just seemed to slip my mind.

It was at that moment when Sealand decided to rush in, apparently going to ask us a question when he looked at me, giving him just enough time to see the blood on my arms before Sweden covered his eyes. Before he did that though, he looked like he wanted to rush over to me and ask me if I was okay. However, the tall swede lifted him up and carried him out of the room before he could, leaving me alone with Norway, who immediately rushed forward and, not caring wether he got blood on himself, gave me a big hug. I didn't get why though. I started to cry. Why would he want to comfort me of all people? Me, who had nearly shredded my arms because of some stupid little trivial things? I then felt three more pairs of arms wrap around me, in the tiny little bathroom. It was silent, except for my blood, dripping from my arm to the floor occasionally. I felt two more people, small people, join in on the group hug.

*flashback end*

They had watched me with a close eye for months after that point, even the two little micronations had the keys to my room, just in case. But now, they won't need them. I stole a knife from the kitchen, and I'm ready now. I put the knife up against my wrist and pushed down as hard as I could. I did the same a little further up my arm before I collapsed, the last thing I heard before the world went black was a cheerful, "Ice! We're home early!"

*timeskip*

My eyes were closed and I could hear beeping. It sounded like a heart monitor. I pretended to be asleep until the monitor betrayed me, the heart rate picking up a little. I heard a, "He's waking up!" and I decided that there was no use trying to fake it anymore. Well, fuck you too, heart monitor... I opened my eyes and immediately closed them again. The lights were too bright and I had a headache, for obvious reasons.

"Turn the lights down a little, they're hurting my eyes..." I said. Well, at least, I tried to. It came out as more of a quiet mumble and whine. I tried opening my eyes again, and in the now-darkened hospital room, I could see a lot of people. Not just my 'family', but also other nations and micronations. Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, the Baltics, all three italians, the Germanic nations, France, Spain, England, America, Canada... And many others. They all looked worried. Why? Why were they worried about me, Iceland, a tiny island in the middle of the ocean that doesn't even matter? I don't get it.... I still want to die, but I know that I'm going to have at least one other person in every room I happen to walk into. Except the bathroom, but if I'm in there for too long I will probably have the door kicked in on me.

Almost immediately after I figured that out, I had a ton of people saying that they were sorry that they made me want to die. It's not their fault, it's my own. I was given half-hearted slaps in the face by crying people, large hugs from even more, and apologies from all around. I also got a, "How dare you scare me like that, you bastard!?" from Romano, but whatever.... Why do they insist on 'helping me', and making sure I live? I don't want to.

*timeskip*

I was just released from the hospital, and it was just as I suspected. I'm not allowed anywhere alone. I have no more sharp objects within my reach. Oh well. A few shoelaces will work. I'm allowed to bring my shoes into my room. Dumb move on their part, but Veneziano is the one watching me today, so yeah.

I stayed up until after I was certain that everybody was asleep, then I wrote my note. I don't know why I do that. Huh. Well, after I was certain, with every fiber of my body that everyone was asleep, I took the shoelaces and tied them to the ceiling. I tested the strength. They will support me just long enough. I grabbed the chair in the corner of my room and stood on it, looping the laces around my neck. I'm certain that this will work. I kick the chair out from under me. I struggled a bit before the world started to go black again. I guess the chair was too noisy, as I thought I heard somebody walking down the hallway before I passed out from lack of oxygen.

*timeskip*

I heard a beeping noise in a rhythmic pattern. Goddamn it. I opened my eyes to see a hospital room again.

"Please stop doing this, Ìsland. Please." Norway said.

I tried to respond but... This time I couldn't talk. They told me that I had damaged my vocal cords, and that I need to rest them for at least a month before going back to the hospital to get them checked. Well, now I guess I'm not going to be allowed to sleep alone in my room anymore.

*timeskip*

Back home, and my predictions were accurate. Again. Goddamn it. At least I was administered pain meds. I just have to wait for my opportunity to arise. After all, third time's a charm... Right?

I'm just so tired of this. This endless cycle of them trying to save me. Why do they want to save me? Why do they act like they're protecting me when they're only hurting me? I asked this to Norway by writing on a notebook, and all he did was hug me and whisper that it's because he cares. I honestly doubt it. If he cared, then why not let me die when it's only hurting me?

*timeskip*

Finally! It's been 2 months and my vocal cords have healed. Norway's been bunking with me, and now he trusts me enough to leave me absolutely alone for five minutes. I quickly downed all of the pills and went back to bed, just in time for him to walk in.

"Godnatt, lillebror." he said.

"... Yeah. Goodnight." I whispered as I fell asleep, smiling for the first time in months.

*timeskip*

Norway's POV

I woke up with a pit in my stomach. It was about ten pm. I've only been asleep for an hour. I turn to see Iceland sleeping next to me... Except he seems a bit pale. I touch his forehead. It's cold. Is he even breathing? I look over to see the bottle of pills he was prescribed and it was empty. I called an ambulance, although I'm almost certain that it's already far too late. I check his pulse... Still there but definitely to slow to be healthy. I can feel tears prick at the corners of my eyes. I don't hold them back.

"... Why are you doing this to yourself, lillebror?"

*timeskip*

I know that it's terribly out of character for me, but I can't stop crying. Denmark and Sweden are sitting next to me, trying to comfort me. I can hear past the emergency room doors; they keep shouting clear. Which means that his heart has stopped. I don't like it, but I'm starting to think that he, my lillebror, has finally achieved his goal.

*timeskip*

The doctor comes out of the doors. I already know what he is going to say.

"I'm sorry, but it seems that Emil has passed on.... We'll leave you to grieve." he says. And although I expected it, hearing it from another's mouth makes it seem more painful. Ìsland, my lillebror, dead? A few decades ago, if I had been told that this would happen, I would've laughed in the person who told me it's face. But now... I just hope that he is happy, wherever he is. Heaven, Hell, Valhalla, wherever. I just wish I had been able to say goodbye, not just goodnight.

**Author's Note:**

> Remember, kids! Suicide is not, and never will be, the answer to ANY of your problems. It only makes people sad! So don't commit suicide, please!


End file.
